Letter To My Father !

Saima with her father in hospital Saima and her mother and father in hospital Saima's father and her faimly in hospital

My father left this world on the First Feb, 2009, and I am embedding this link for those who still have the blessings of their parents in their lives. I want them to tell their parents that they love them immensely before its too late..... Here is the letter!
Dearest father, I never ever had this thought that one day I would write you a letter like this, the way I am writing it, but I know that you are reading each word, wherever you are right now. Dad, sometimes we find ourselves speechless. I want to write a lot, but I am trying to think about where I should start. Let me start by telling you something which you or I never discuss. Dad, the bond which I felt between me and you was so amazing. Sometimes we shared different facets of life with each other. You shared your views and I shared mine. Sometimes we argued on several topics and sometimes we walked side by side silently; letting each other know, "Yes, I am with you." Sometimes we looked at each other and said a lot without saying anything.

I still remember those last 21 days I spent with you in the hospital; looking at you, feeling your pain in my heart, and finding myself helpless. I never said to you that I love you and I always will. I never said it in my whole life. That moment when you were having enormous pain is now embedded in my heart. I looked at you, reciting Holy Verses, rubbing my hand on your body. And when I said this, "Dad, you know that I love you very much" you said what... I said once again, "Dad, you know that I love you very much." You looked at me with enormous pain, with a little laughter, and you patted my shoulder. My feelings, where I found both pain and happiness, merged between each other.

I saw doctors visiting you. Whenever they asked, "How are you sir?" you replied to them with a soft tone, "I am in safe hands."

I remember, Dad, the last day when I came there to the hospital, in the morning, with mother. I saw you lying on the bed. I went near to your bed and felt something wrong with you. But I did not want to believe that. I went near to you, and asked, "What is it Dad?" You were looking at the drip, and I said "Dad, we will go back home when this drip is finished", and that is exactly what happened, Dad. We brought you back home.

I remember Dad, when we were trying to give you water, and you did not have the strength to take even a single gulp. Then I said to you loudly, but with love, "Dad, take it. Take it." and you took it, and showed us that life is like that gulp of water. Either you have the strength to take it or not. You had to prove it in front of your loved ones that you had the strength. And I won't forget that lesson ever Dad. "Inshallah!" I will try to take each gulp of life the way you took it that day; that last moment when you showed us how not to give up, come what may. We must fight like a true soldier. And, yes, this life is like a battle field. I saw you never giving up, no matter what; no matter how tough life was for you. I am proud of you Dad; the way you fought back till your last breath, the way you kept faith in Allah. And the way you brought us up. Dad, please pray for us that we will follow the same rules, that we will live our lives with honour and pride, and take each gulp of life with faith and strength. Dad, please pray that I will get a chance in my own life to prove myself, to prove that Yes!, I am the daughter of a true soldier. That I am a person who fights back the way you did till your last breath. I am proud of you. I am wishing that one day you will say the same thing back to me when we meet again, Inshallah, that you will say, "Saima, I am proud of you my child..."

I miss you Dad, always, and love you, and will love you always. And I know that you are still with me, guiding me like a real Guiding Star. Please shine my way when I get lost. Please Dad, pray for me when you see that I have lost myself in the middle of nowhere.

Dad, in the place where you are right now, there are no pain killers, no injections, no medicine chart to follow, no blood pressure to read. No one will come to take your ECG. There are no pins for sugar tests, no drips, no sleeping pills. You know why Dad? Because now you are sleeping at home; the place where you were kept insisting to go while you were lying on your bed in the hospital. Now you do not need to worry about anything, Dad. Now you are at home in safe hands, in peace, and the cool breeze of Heaven must be touching your body. All this must be giving you comfort and ease!!!

May your soul rest there with peace. Goodbye for now Dad, till the day when we will meet again. [Inshallah]
With love and prayers.
Your Daughter,
Saima Yousaf